One Sister to Another Part 3-It's Just Business

This is part one of a series of ideas I want to share from my PAST experience. I’m a girlfriend who wants to share so that you, my friends, might learn from me rather than deal with the heartache yourself.

I've been in the corporate world for going on eight years now and I've learned a few things along the way:

How to apply the long last lipstick that will get me through a day's worth of sales calls.

How to apply the right amount of self tanner to look like I'm wearing panty hose when I'm actually not.

How to apply said tanner sans streaking so the "panty hose" look real.

How to close the sale before they realize I'm actually closing the sale.

How to look cute and smile while still coming across as professional.

But the biggest lesson I have learned is that ITS JUST BUSINESS.

The coporate world is full of self promoters who scratch their way up the career ladder. I have witnessed my share of those who broadcast their wins loud enough for their boss's boss's boss to hear. I have also witnessed my share of those who distort the magnitude of their latest project to plump up their end of year review. To be honest, I know these people are rewarded and I'm not going to say they probably don't deserve it either. But at what cost?

The cost of self promotion for me is the extra energy it takes to make known my accomplishments when frankly, they speak for themselves. The cost of poking my head out to play Nosey McNoserson while investigating my coworker's latest and greatest for the only outcome of doing it better myself is just too tiring. How do I know this? I've been there. It got me nowhere.

A friend of mine told m something a year ago I've applied to my corporate job. She advised me to "keep my head down, work hard and God will recognize me as He sees fit."

Keep my head down.

Work hard on the task at hand.

Don't worry about what everyone else is doing.

God will bless it.

Just as Jesus said He was about His Father's business in Luke 2:49 You too are about your Father's business in the corporate world. A true success that I believe God honors is when we focus on what we can do at that moment and do it with excellence. The business world is full of fakers, so being about your Father's business with authenticity, honesty and humility already sets you up to navigate the career path with success.

Keep your head down, sister!

Lets brainstorm together and come up with ways to be successful at work with out the draining act of self promotion. What are some ways that you are about your Father's business and stay focused on the task at hand rather than your office mate's win at work?

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One Sister to Another Part 2-Friendship

This is part of a series of ideas I want to share from my own experience. I’m a girlfriend who wants to share so that you, my friends, might learn from me rather than deal with the heartache yourself.

This topic is so tender on my heart that I am almost tempted to scratch the whole post. But, here it goes anyway...

I expect too much from my friends.

There I said it.

I pour out my heart to those I love. Words of encouragement, prayer, support, advice, etc. It is my love language and I enjoy it immensely. I love to see the smile on their face. The relief when they know they are not alone. Like I said, its my love language.

Because this is how I express my love, I feel loved when the same is done for me. The trouble is I expect, rather, I appreciate or long for my friends to return that expression of love in kind. When they don't, my heart hurts.

This is selfish of me.

I get that.

I'm working through it...

Through this soul searching {which is ongoing} the Lord keeps yelling out to me:

Get over yourself! I AM enough. I AM your friend. I AM your LORD. I AM and that is all you need.

Ok, Lord. I get it...sort of.

As I am working through this, my first thought was to completely give it up. No more Mr. Nice Guy {or gal}. I'm not going to put myself out there only to be hurt again. But yet, what kind of opportunity would I be missing to be used by God to encourage a friend who truly needs to hear something uplifting?

So as I continue to be there for my girlfriends, I've decided not to expect from them what only God can give me.

My El Shaddai

HE is MORE than enough.

Ephesians 3:19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

This is raw, people. Again. I'm seconds away from NOT hitting publish on this post. Yet, I want to encourage you to let God be your I AM. Let Him be your friend. What ever overflows from that blessing, pour it out on your earthly friends. Be used by Him to nurture those that you love.

The End.

{I'm closing this post to comments. I know there are a few of my girlfriends out there who would bless me with encouragement on this particular topic. That was not the reason for writing this. :) }

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One Sister to Another Part 1

This is part one of a series of ideas I want to share from my PAST experience. I’m a girlfriend who wants to share so that you, my friends, might learn from me rather than deal with the heartache yourself. {disclaimer: I haven’t dated in years. In His beautiful mercy, God brought an amazing man into my life to be my husband. But...BUT...it wasn’t until after I dealt with the woes written below that I was able to see that there are great, godly men out there. So hold tight, sister...}

Most of us have seen the recent movie, He’s Just Not That Into You. I reluctantly rented this chick flick as I was not too crazy to be reminded of the many guys I dated in the past who well...were just not that into me. You know the situation. You meet a guy while out with your friends and you both connect over your common obsession of the television show, 24. I mean, who wouldn’t want to connect with a guy who not only resembles Jack Bauer, but also has that low-toned, mysterious growly voice like Jack, too. You give him your number and part ways hopeful that this guy will be THE ONE.

And you wait. And wait. And wait.

Oh the dating games women play.

I most identified with Gigi from He’s Just Not That Into You. There is a scene where Gigi analyzes a recent conversation she had with a guy she met the Friday night before. Her co-worker supports her by paying attention to every minute detail of every word the guy said before the night was over. Then, they both decide to skip the rule of waiting for the guy to call her. Gigi sets out to construct a perfect “follow up” phone call. The scene is quite comical as Gigi, armed with her script, picks up the phone with a nervous grin on her face only to find the call went straight to voicemail. She quickly improvises (she did not write a script for a voicemail call) and flubbs up the whole thing. After watching this scene, I was tempted to pause the movie and go raid the fridge for some comfort food consisting of an entire quart of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. You see, I totally saw myself in Gigi and no amount of ice cream could erase the many moments of angst I experienced while dating in the past.

Later on in the movie Gigi tells her girlfriend, “We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.”

Games. Games. Games. They drive us crazy.

Now, before this turns into a man bashing session, let me just say that women are just as guilty of this insanity. You can’t tell me that you have never played “hard to get” or flirted with a guy you weren’t interested in just for the fun and attention. Yes, ladies, we too have perpetuated this standard of dating. But, I hope you will allow me to make a statement as a girl who has been there, done that, and got the not so cute t-shirt. Life is too short to get caught up in the anxiety of “will he call?” or “does he really love me?” There are other things we can do with our time rather than obsessively checking our cell phone to make sure we didn’t miss THE CALL. Trust me, years ago I wasted countless hours of my life in this very scenario. Can I share a few pointers that I learned along the way?

**If he really likes you, he will pursue you.

**If he really likes you, he will be interested in what you like and want to get to know you.

**If he really likes you he will RESPECT you.

Here is the big one....

**If he plays games...It is time to move on.

I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth, my sweet sister. Hold out for the guy who treats you like the princess you are. This may mean that you are with out a date on Saturday night for a while. But, here is a truth that I want you to cling to when you feel depressed about your love life: The King is enthralled with your beauty! Psalm 45:11 NIV

The King, Jesus, pursues you.

The King, Jesus, loves you with a fiery passion.

The King, Jesus, will not play games or toy with your heart.

God gives us a template of what our dating and future married life should look like. He doesn’t want you to be riddled with anxiety. He hurts when your heart is trampled on. And, He will encourage you not to settle for anything less than a man who respects and cares for you.

He-Jesus- is just that into you.

So lets encourage each other. If you're a single sister, share your thoughts. If you're not a single sister, share some "words of wisdom."

***My girlfriend Angie wrote a post on this very same movie. Check it out.

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